Friday, November 30, 2012

Momsomnia

Have you all ever heard of momsomnia? How about insmomnia?  No?  That's because I just made them up because there has to be a word for this.

All of which is ironic because I hate, HATE, when people mom-ify words, like momtrepreneur and momversation and momut butter and jelly.  (OK. I've never heard that last one.  Yet...)  But here I am, momifying words like a boss because all this momsomnia has eroded my brain.

So, momsomnia is the state of sleeplessness you achieve despite the fact that you have a sleep deficit of 149 hours and you've only averaged 4 hours of sleep (not in a row, mind you) each of the last 8 nights.  Despite your biblical levels of exhaustion you spend the only 2 hour stretch of quiet your baby gives you a night, with your heart racing, unable to sleep.

You find yourself in the dark of night, lacking even the energy to move your head to a more comfortable position on the pillow.  Even thoughts of movement tire you out, as you lay sprawled on your bed like a ragdoll thrown from a plane.  You're definitely too tired to sob silently on the bathroom floor, which was your strategy the last 2 nights.  All signs point to sleep.

But your body is kept awake by your rapidly firing nervous system which is now stuck on high alert for the dreaded baby cry. The more frustrated you are about wasting this precious opportunity to sleep, the harder it is to sleep.

After a bout of momsomnia you might fall into a weirdly intense dreamstate. Like you're dreaming that your husband is lying next to you and trying to... ahem... get frisky, but when you turn over to respond, you find there's someone ELSE in the bed who's laughing maniacally at his attempts to ensnare you.  Then you do one of those dream screams to wake yourself up, and your husband comes in from the other room (he's no longer sharing a bed with a momsomniac) and shakes you awake reminds you not to scream, you know, because of the baby.  But it turns out THAT's a dream too. It's like that. Or so I've heard.

That's momsomnia.

I hope this ends soon.  Then I can go back to my regular, run-of-the-mill Ambian-curable insomnia.   Like normal people.


someecards.com - Congrats on the new baby. You can sleep when you die.

P.S. I *thought* I invented "momsomnia," but a quick google search told me I'm delusional.  Of course other people have made this obvious word momification.  So, I'm unoriginal, but at least I'm not alone.  I'll take it. 

10 comments:

  1. I could so relate to this post. It brought me right back to those days where I felt like a walking zombie. Hang in there - we used to call my youngest the non-sleeper but it did pass. It felt like forever - but it did pass. BTW - I am amazed that you can still be hilarious and write coherently when you are sleep deprived.

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    1. I know. It's pathetic actually. I'm awake in the dark thinking of how to best explain my misery on my blog. I'd much prefer sleep. : )

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  2. Oh, that's what it's called! It's just my life; I didn't realize it had a specific name. Thanks for clarifying that you made up momut butter. I was thinking I was really out of the mommy loop (as usual).

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  3. Kim! Okay, here's the thing. E is almost 1!!! And guess what? The "I have the boobs so I may as well deal with it" argument is RUNNING OUT!! As soon as possible, wrangle C into taking over nights. It worked wonders for Simon!!! Don't get me wrong, he still wakes up (1-2 times a night about 80 percent of the time at 26 months), but I don't deal with it anymore. He goes back down faster with his dad than he ever did with me. (Sadly, in our family, dad has the dadsomnia, but at least the wake-ups are shorter and fewer than they were/would be with me)

    So sorry you are going through this...STILL!!

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    1. Thanks Whitnney! Actually we tried night weaning him and Colin basically did the whole night with him for 4 days while I slept somewhere else completely. It worked for a while, and I'd go the whole night with out nursing him - well until 4:30... then 3:30... then 2:30... It just crept earlier and earlier and now I'm back to nursing him each time and he's even MORE resistant than before to Colin soothing him. But... we're going to try crying it out soon and Colin will take the brunt of that again since I physically cannot restrain myself from soothing him and I'll have to sleep elsewhere again for a few nights. We're just desperate and the prospect that a few nights of hell gives everyone better sleep is pretty enticing. We'll see how that goes....

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  4. "regular, run-of-the-mill Ambian-curable insomnia"--I am dying! So funny and right there with you in momsomnia land :)
    Meredith
    www.themomoftheyear.net

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  5. Oh gosh... i remember those days. The only good thing about it is it doesn't last. But I didn't know other people dream-screamed. I thought that was just me. But for me it usually happened a lot when I was pregnant, but not just any old time.

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