I used to pride myself on my stubborn refusal bend to the latest technological and social media trends. You know, I was the last of my friends to get a cell phone and then a smart phone. I thought ROFL was a special at iHop and a hashtag was something kids smoke out of.
I kind of felt being the group Luddite made me unique, mysterious even, and somehow principled. Like a zen master at a frat party. Truth be told it was more due to laziness and inability to navigate anything more complicated than an on/off switch. But it was kind of my thing.
But since my maternity leave, I’ve dove head first into the social media world. I am writing more in my blog and actually trying to promote it, linking up with other sites and spending a criminal amount of time reading all of your blogs – to the neglect of my children. I now have a twitter account that I don’t use and finally figured out how to waste a ton of time on my smart phone. Kim for the win!
And in so doing, I’ve noticed that a new language has developed among those plugged and clued in.
Some initial observations those of you in the thick social media-ing may not have paused to consider:
(1) Good job=”for the win”/ bad job =”fail”. So, when did this happen? You tell an amusing story about a petty triumph, and it’s “Kim for the win!” When did we become our own little color commentators? Truth? I kinda like equating getting my toddler to crap in a potty with scoring the winning touchdown in a playoff. Because it feels about that exciting, and someone should be cheering for me.
Some person or institution does something dumb and it’s a fail. Really dumb, it’s an epic fail. Was I asleep when fail became a noun? Or when failure shed its “ure?” I’ll go with it. Language evolves and all that…
(2) The new “a**hole.” It’s not clever enough anymore to call someone an a**hole, unless you call your grandm an a**hole (because that’s just funny). No. Today you have to merge something scatological or sexual with something mundane. Like ass hat or douche canoe (What? It’s a thing. I’ve seen it) or vagina chair (OK. Not a thing yet. Keep watching...)
(3) New nouns. You all seem to love to add “-ery” to everthing. As in, dumbassery or head scratchery. I like this one. It actually seems to serve an important linguistic purpose in terms of efficiency. This is not a language fail. It’s language win, people.
(4) Calling your readers “people.” I like this one too. Seems the best choice. I mean what else are you supposed to say? “Gentle reader” is a bit too old school. “Folks” is too, well… folksy. “Y’all” is too Southern. “Eskimos” way too Northern. “Patriots” is too right wing, “comrades” too left wing, “lovers” too familiar and “douche canoes” just too mean. “People” is the best. You know what I mean, guys? Oh, yeah, you could also say “guys.”
(5) There’s a lot of stabbing and throat punching. Sure, we’ve always had ways to express our… um… displeasure with someone. “He’s going to get it.” “I’d like to kill that guy” or even “I want to punch him in the face.” But now we are all blogging, tweeting, status updating about stabbing our spouses and punching the guy at the DMV in the throat.
|Did this all start with the Bloggess?|
Why so specific guys? I could go on about what this means for the decline of civility in society, but I think we’ve moved in this direction because stabbing just sounds funny. Throat punching? Hilarious.
That’s it from me, but don’t be a total vagina chair – leave a comment and let me know what I’ve missed…